Sorry to all of my fan that I've been gone for so very long. I've been working on my resume for ESPN (the whole point of this blog's existence), where this bad boy is front and center. I've been in pretty good spirits because: The Cavs have been entertaining and GREAT, the new-look Bengals won their last 3, and the Indians signed Kerry Wood. Most people might say, "But Buddies, isn't a $20 million closer with a right arm made of glued together pieces of "wood" (pun INTENDED) NOT great?" Well, shut up, first of all. Second of all, at least his fastball doesn't top out at 83 mph and at least he is not Trevor Hoffman. Also, if you haven't read the sidebar, I did not lose the Lead Pipe Lock contest and will therefore, not have to sing Karaoke. Nice. I was also 7-4 which is respectable in my estimation.
Anyway, I wanted to get down my picks for the first round of the NFL playoffs in which possibly all of the games, the road team will be favored...weird.
Saturday games
Atlanta at Arizona
I simply cannot pick Arizona to win any more games this season. The Atlanta story is too good and Arizona is too wussy to go any other way.
How dumb was it when everyone was all, "Kurt Warner for MVP!!!" Kurt Warner is so great...as long as he plays indoors. If he is in the cold or outside at all, he gets the fumblies...the worst case you've ever seen. He also is on a team with not one, but two receivers who could be in the MVP discussion. I'm not sure who came up with that, but I'm sure it was Trent Dilfer.
Pick: Atlanta
Indianapolis at San Diego
Hmmmmmm....
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Indy has the "Buddies wants them to win" factor but that might be it. San Diego is a decidedly UNlikable team because of their punk QB and their washed up, whiny RB and their milquetoast mediocre walking corpse coach. However, Phil Rivers is certainly a gamer and San Diego has always annoyed the shit out of Indy, even when Indy was a juggernaught. Both teams are "hot," I guess, so that's a wash.
Ya know, my head is going with the Bolts, but I just can't. Peyton is the better man, and I think he can will them to victory (much like he did for Buddies in week 6 of the Lead Pipe Lock contest). I just can't overlook a favor like that.
Pick: Colts
Sunday
Baltimore at Miami
Well, Miami isn't very good. Chad Pennington might be the smartest NFL Quarterback of all time (stretching) but he has about as much talent as you or me. Miami will not fuck up unless forced to, and that's a big deal and a big compliment.
That said, Baltimore forces you to fuck up (See: Buddies' Lead Pipe Lock, week 1).
Pick: Ravenous Ravenous Ravens
Philadelphia at Minnesota
It looks like I'm going with every road team. I thought I would find a home team I liked but I didn't. I'll try to put this lightly: Minny isn't a good team...
That was my best attempt. The only thing that can mess this up for Philly is if they get the Andy Reid/McNabb patented choke fest of a performance. If the Eagles blow this after such a crazy hilarious embarrassment of the "arch enemy of the entire world (Tom Cruse, Valkyrie)," McNabb should be forced to retire.
Pick: Eagles
I'll try to continue to make picks throughout the weeks, but I'll probably forget.
By the way, I'd like to tell everyone (Bowl) who reads this crap to leave a damn comment. I mean, really, what am I doing here if nobody comments?? Read the newsflash underneath the place where comments would be and help me out here. Sheesh.
