My brother has an expression when he feels like he's living in a world in which he doesn't belong.
"It's like living in Biff's 1985," he says. For those of you who don't know, the concept of Biff's 1985 is from Back to the Future Part II. In the year 2015, the trilogy's recurring villain, and generally an unsavory brute, Biff Tannen hijacks the time traveling Delorean, goes back in time, and gives his younger self a sports almanac for the "future," allowing him to bet with a 100% success rate on all sporting events and eventually makes him the most powerful man in Hill Valley. When the protagonist, Marty McFly, returns (from 2015) to 1985 from, he finds his home town looking like a dirtier and sleazier Las Vegas, his father dead, and his mother married to the very same Biff -- still unsavory, but now unfathomably rich.
For most of my "sports life," I have felt like Marty living in Biff's 1985. It goes without saying that my teams never won, and I can stomach that. It just seems that every time I've have any preference about who wins a game or series, that team is doomed. Perhaps I just have a soft spot for teams I know deep down won't win. In any case, in a world where Kobe Bryant is the face of the NBA, Alex Rodriguez is the face of baseball, Charlie Weiss is perceived as a member of the human race, Tony Romo is dating two famous divas (Jessica Simpson/Terrell Owens) -- well, as my Grandpa would say, "I feel irrelevant." I have long felt irrelevant to the sports world, and this year started out just as bad as all the others.
Let's start with football and more specifically, the New England Patriots. Their coaching staff was caught cheating but never lost. Rodney Harrison was on PEDs but it was forgotten. They even acquired Junior Seau after his obnoxious speech about "graduating" and the Football Gods still gave them break after break. They they spat in the faces of these Gods by attempting to go undefeated in the NFL. Were they punished? No! They were spared the chore of playing the Colts in the AFC Championship game and got to play a LaDanian Tomlinson-less and Phillips Rivers' ACL-less Chargers team instead. And then they get Eli in the Super Bowl? Eli?!?
Then, something changed. New England's luck ran out. I couldn't believe it! Did the team that karmically deserved to win actually win?? What was going on? That's when I realized, if New England had lost to the Ravens or Eagles in the regular season, this wouldn't have been half as good. This year was different. The Karma Year.
Moving onto basketball and the arrogance of Memphis and John Calipari. It turns out free throw shooting does matter and the "dribble drive" offense doesn't be winning championships. Then the NBA Finals. After the interview-before-you-play-the-game/series-acting-like-you've-already-won kiss of death from Stephen A. Smith, the media pretending that asking to be traded even smells like leadership, the "Pau Gasol Christmas," and the unbelievable and creepy crush that Mark Jackson seems to have on Kobe, the Celtics basically crushed them. I saw that one coming though. By that time, I was onto the Karma Year.
Now, I'm trying to get ahead, so here is my World Series prediction: Dodgers over Yankees in 6.
Of course, it would be hard to top seeing the Jeter/A-Rod/Giambino Yankees fail to make the playoffs, but this is what the Karma year does. It makes you feel hopeless. It allows the most detestable team to get all the way to the Championship game with all cylinders running and the media on their side. You will see a hundred million sentimental "win one for the last year of Yankee Stadium" pieces. You'll emotionally numb yourself to the point where you'll believe it was meant to happen. "Maybe they should win one in the last year in the 'House that Ruth Built.'" Then, it'll all come unraveled for the Yanks and you'll remember how much pain the pinstripes have caused you and your team (they probably have stolen one or two of your players) over the years and you'll rejoice.
OK, so... how I choose LA to be the team to take down the Yankees? Well, I had it narrowed down to LA, Chicago, and Milwaukee, and after the Manny Trade, it became all too obvious. However the most important basis for this prediction is, of course, the fact that it could continue a possible pattern for the Karma Year. In the Super Bowl, The New York Giants were the fan-friendly soldiers of Karma defeating evil in Boston's own New England Patriots. In the NBA Finals, Boston's role switched when the Celtics were the vanquishers of evil, defeating Kobe and the Lakeshow. In the World Series, LA will be the team to overcome the reprehensible New York Yankees who, coincidentally (or not), share the same residence as the wonderful team who defeated the Pats in Super Bowl XLII, The New York (football) Giants. The Circle of Karma is completed.
If this really happens, we'll know that either A) That all sports are fixed, or B) That there really are sports gods and that we're all safe and sound, back in the year 1985. I'll choose to believe the latter.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Corrections
I'm not really sure if I should call these "corrections" but there's a few things in my earlier posts I'd like to comment on. First, in my baseball post, I proposed moving the Houston Astros from the NL Central to the AL West to even out the leagues. One reason they probably haven't done this is because that would make the leagues have 15 teams each which would make scheduling difficult. If you continue to only play your own league (until inter league play), there would be a team with three consecutive off days all the time (or something like that) and that wouldn't be fun. My proposed solution is to play inter league play throughout the season instead of during a couple month long periods or whatever they do now. The odd teams out in each league would play each other and then go back to normal. I don't really know how scheduling works but I'm sticking by my idea until someone writes in and proves that I'm an idiot.
In my Shockey article, I stated that he was the starting Tight End on something called "Team Doucheman." I may have been jumping the gun here. Shockey is certainly a jerk, but making the Douche Squad takes something special. For example, the real starting Tight End is HOLY SHIT THE ROCKETS JUST GOT RON ARTEST. IF THEY DON'T GET INJURED AND YAO PLAYS LIKE A MAN, THEY ARE A TITLE CONTENDER. Anyway, it's Jeremi Stevens (the ways I spelled both those names are probably wrong, but I feel like he spells it dumb. Plus, who cares? He's a douche). He talked so much trash before the Seattle/Pittsburgh Super Bowl only to drop several passes in a tight, poorly played game. What a douche.
I'm sure I've said more dumb things, but that's all I have for now.
In my Shockey article, I stated that he was the starting Tight End on something called "Team Doucheman." I may have been jumping the gun here. Shockey is certainly a jerk, but making the Douche Squad takes something special. For example, the real starting Tight End is HOLY SHIT THE ROCKETS JUST GOT RON ARTEST. IF THEY DON'T GET INJURED AND YAO PLAYS LIKE A MAN, THEY ARE A TITLE CONTENDER. Anyway, it's Jeremi Stevens (the ways I spelled both those names are probably wrong, but I feel like he spells it dumb. Plus, who cares? He's a douche). He talked so much trash before the Seattle/Pittsburgh Super Bowl only to drop several passes in a tight, poorly played game. What a douche.
I'm sure I've said more dumb things, but that's all I have for now.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Jeremy Shockey
The trade involving Jeremy Shockey this weekend most likely helped both teams but I'm guessing The Giants didn't even have to think about it. In spite of his starting roll on Team Doucheman: NFL Edition, Shockey is still a very good player and a Tight End that can get open will be extremely helpful for New Orleans, a team who threw about a million interceptions last season. But The Giants receive draft picks and most importantly, they get something for a guy who has been experimentally proven not to help the team.
Shockey averaged 4 receptions and 45 yards a game in the regular season before he got hurt and had 3 TDs. Kevin Boss, Shockey's playoff replacement, had about a catch a game and zero touchdowns during the playoffs. Looking at the stats, you might wonder how the Giants pulled off their Super Bowl win without Shockey.
Remember how The Giants were the most unhappy, dysfunctional team (other than The Bungles) in the NFL? What happened? The fact is, a player with a large personality who uses it to question the guy (Eli) who should be leading the team CANNOT be helpful no matter how talented he is. Especially when you have a guy like Eli who needs at least a little help raising his voice in a crowd. Look at Michael Strahan. Michael has a HUGE personality, but he used it to help a talented kid who still has the disposition of a little brother.
Think about this: You are one of the best players on a team, you get hurt, and your team miraculously makes it to the Super Bowl. Don't you at least try to hang out on the sidelines to be a part of that? (He may not have been allowed to because he probably wasn't on the playoff roster. I don't know because I'm an idiot.) Well Shockey, instead, sat by himself in a box and got hammered drunk throughout the game. That could have been OK (maybe) if he were shirtless and freaking out like a soccer hooligan when his team was upsetting the 18-0 New England AntiChrists, but no. Shockey seemed completely indifferent to the outcome of the game.
On "Mike and Mike in the Morning," they asked The Giants' GM whether or not Shockey getting hurt helped them in the long run. He answered something like, "No. That's unfair to Jeremy. He was a very good player for our football team." When you ask a guy if someone getting hurt helped his team and his answer is, "He was a very good player for our football team," that means, "I don't really wanna talk about it, but probably." When your Super Bowl run begins right after some guy with high trade value who nobody really likes anyway gets hurt, is that the biggest no-brainer trade ever? It's gotta be up there.
Shockey averaged 4 receptions and 45 yards a game in the regular season before he got hurt and had 3 TDs. Kevin Boss, Shockey's playoff replacement, had about a catch a game and zero touchdowns during the playoffs. Looking at the stats, you might wonder how the Giants pulled off their Super Bowl win without Shockey.
Remember how The Giants were the most unhappy, dysfunctional team (other than The Bungles) in the NFL? What happened? The fact is, a player with a large personality who uses it to question the guy (Eli) who should be leading the team CANNOT be helpful no matter how talented he is. Especially when you have a guy like Eli who needs at least a little help raising his voice in a crowd. Look at Michael Strahan. Michael has a HUGE personality, but he used it to help a talented kid who still has the disposition of a little brother.
Think about this: You are one of the best players on a team, you get hurt, and your team miraculously makes it to the Super Bowl. Don't you at least try to hang out on the sidelines to be a part of that? (He may not have been allowed to because he probably wasn't on the playoff roster. I don't know because I'm an idiot.) Well Shockey, instead, sat by himself in a box and got hammered drunk throughout the game. That could have been OK (maybe) if he were shirtless and freaking out like a soccer hooligan when his team was upsetting the 18-0 New England AntiChrists, but no. Shockey seemed completely indifferent to the outcome of the game.
On "Mike and Mike in the Morning," they asked The Giants' GM whether or not Shockey getting hurt helped them in the long run. He answered something like, "No. That's unfair to Jeremy. He was a very good player for our football team." When you ask a guy if someone getting hurt helped his team and his answer is, "He was a very good player for our football team," that means, "I don't really wanna talk about it, but probably." When your Super Bowl run begins right after some guy with high trade value who nobody really likes anyway gets hurt, is that the biggest no-brainer trade ever? It's gotta be up there.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Ron Artest
I just read that the Cavs are most likely not making an attempt at trading for the instigator of the worst brawl in NBA history, Ron Artest, because they don't want to take on the two year commitment to Kenny Thomas and his hilarious contract. That's right, the Cavs don't want to take on a bad contract. I understand Ferry wanting to avoid bad contracts after his love affair with them during his freshman year as the Cleveland GM, but he needs to make this trade for two reason. 1) It's only for two years, one more year than Wally Szczerbiak's bad contract (and worth less per year) which will be traded away. 2) It's fucking Ron Artest.
Ronny gets paid around $8 million for this last year and, I guess, there could be trouble signing him for more years if he plays well. However, if someone were to actually enjoy the city of Cleveland, it would be Ron Artest. Not to mention, he is his own agent (which is potentially comical). That means, if he likes Cleveland, he wouldn't have some d bag whispering in his ear and telling him to sign with L.A. or NY if he has a lucrative contract year.
Just think of this: if you, as a coach, want to put on a full court press, how would you like to have LeBron James and Ron Artest pressuring the ball? Is there any chance they manage to get the ball across half court? What if you decide to send an old Ben Wallace over there too (and by the way, the Artest/Wallace history just makes everything more fun)? And although Artest is known as a defensive player, he would still immediately the Cavaliers' second best scorer, and the best scorer they've had since LeBron was on the team other than LeBron himself.
Let's also look at some other options Cleveland have been looking at to help out The King:
1) Micheal Redd
Maybe the most obvious and most often brought up trade target for Cleveland, Redd was one of the most talented players to ever play for the Buckeyes and helped take them to the Final Four and plays with LeBron on the USA National Team. His defense and team-playerability (fake word) may be questionable, but the one thing Micheal Redd is is a scoring machine. This, of course, would be a welcome addition to The James Gang because the area in which The Gang is most greatly lacking is scoring (or really anything helpful) from the shooting guard position. There is really no downside to getting Michael Redd for the Cavs. The problem is twofold: 1) Anderson Varejao is undoubtedly involved in the potential trade and he is rumored to have nixed it (something he loses the ability to do before the trade deadline). Problem number 2) Milwaukee might actually have the delusion that a team of Michael Redd, Mo Williams, and Richard Jefferson isn't still horrible. This could cause The Bucks to hold onto Redd if they think they will be contenders in the Eastern Conference this year (which they will not). Both these problems could easily be solved by making this trade at the trading deadline which I expect to happen if nothing else happens for the Cavs before then.
2) Monta Ellis
This an interesting idea but, no matter how much I think about it, it never seems like a very good one. Ellis is a guy who scores a lot, but is tiny and will be overpaid throughout his career. I know Cleveland is in need of scoring, but this team is shaping up to be a team based on athleticism, defense, strength, and overall bigness. The Lakers in the finals were overwhelmed by the bigger, stronger, less European Celtics. The Eastern Conference seems to be figuring out that overpowering the West is the best way to beat them, and I think that's where the Cavs want to be headed. Acquiring a mouse-like shooting guard is not a step in that direction.
3) Vince Carter
I hate this idea and anyone who thinks it's even reasonable. I know he'll be traded for cheap and was once a great athlete, but he's cheap because he's useless. Vince Carter is not a bad person, but he is indifferent to winning. A team trying to mean business does not want Vince Carter. He's also old. There's nothing about this I don't hate.
4) J.R. Smith
I can't say I like this idea at all either. People have said they believe that J.R. could be LeBron's second banana, but I don't see it. I have many problems with this guy. First, he is on the Nuggets, and what's more, he looks like he belongs on the Nuggets. This Denver team is one of the dumbest, most unlikable teams I've ever seen and I would not trade for anybody on it (unless he had a David Lee vibe where he clearly hated playing on that team). Second, Smith's actions on the court show no direction or focus on any real goal, a little like Vince. J.R. is a streak shooter and above average athlete and that seems to be it. Third, I would not trade Delonte West or Boobie Gibson for him even though he might be a more productive player than both of them and here is why: Delonte and Boobie have rolls and play them, I would say, very well. All Boobie and West are asked to do is be solid outside shooters and be able to get the offense started (pass to LeBron immediately), but they do it. J.R. would be asked to be a high volume consistent scorer and second best player and starting shooting guard. I feel that Smith would be a disappointment at those tasks and therefore, is not worth getting because people who can fill those rolls do, in fact, exist.
Some of these trades I like and some of them I very much dislike. The only two I would be truly happy about are Michael Redd or Ron Artest, but I would have to say that I prefer Artest because of his defense, history of winning (ignoring his history of violence), and the fact that he, somewhat shockingly, is the samg age as Redd. And the fact is, if anyone belongs in Cleveland (big "if"), it's Ron.
Ronny gets paid around $8 million for this last year and, I guess, there could be trouble signing him for more years if he plays well. However, if someone were to actually enjoy the city of Cleveland, it would be Ron Artest. Not to mention, he is his own agent (which is potentially comical). That means, if he likes Cleveland, he wouldn't have some d bag whispering in his ear and telling him to sign with L.A. or NY if he has a lucrative contract year.
Just think of this: if you, as a coach, want to put on a full court press, how would you like to have LeBron James and Ron Artest pressuring the ball? Is there any chance they manage to get the ball across half court? What if you decide to send an old Ben Wallace over there too (and by the way, the Artest/Wallace history just makes everything more fun)? And although Artest is known as a defensive player, he would still immediately the Cavaliers' second best scorer, and the best scorer they've had since LeBron was on the team other than LeBron himself.
Let's also look at some other options Cleveland have been looking at to help out The King:
1) Micheal Redd
Maybe the most obvious and most often brought up trade target for Cleveland, Redd was one of the most talented players to ever play for the Buckeyes and helped take them to the Final Four and plays with LeBron on the USA National Team. His defense and team-playerability (fake word) may be questionable, but the one thing Micheal Redd is is a scoring machine. This, of course, would be a welcome addition to The James Gang because the area in which The Gang is most greatly lacking is scoring (or really anything helpful) from the shooting guard position. There is really no downside to getting Michael Redd for the Cavs. The problem is twofold: 1) Anderson Varejao is undoubtedly involved in the potential trade and he is rumored to have nixed it (something he loses the ability to do before the trade deadline). Problem number 2) Milwaukee might actually have the delusion that a team of Michael Redd, Mo Williams, and Richard Jefferson isn't still horrible. This could cause The Bucks to hold onto Redd if they think they will be contenders in the Eastern Conference this year (which they will not). Both these problems could easily be solved by making this trade at the trading deadline which I expect to happen if nothing else happens for the Cavs before then.
2) Monta Ellis
This an interesting idea but, no matter how much I think about it, it never seems like a very good one. Ellis is a guy who scores a lot, but is tiny and will be overpaid throughout his career. I know Cleveland is in need of scoring, but this team is shaping up to be a team based on athleticism, defense, strength, and overall bigness. The Lakers in the finals were overwhelmed by the bigger, stronger, less European Celtics. The Eastern Conference seems to be figuring out that overpowering the West is the best way to beat them, and I think that's where the Cavs want to be headed. Acquiring a mouse-like shooting guard is not a step in that direction.
3) Vince Carter
I hate this idea and anyone who thinks it's even reasonable. I know he'll be traded for cheap and was once a great athlete, but he's cheap because he's useless. Vince Carter is not a bad person, but he is indifferent to winning. A team trying to mean business does not want Vince Carter. He's also old. There's nothing about this I don't hate.
4) J.R. Smith
I can't say I like this idea at all either. People have said they believe that J.R. could be LeBron's second banana, but I don't see it. I have many problems with this guy. First, he is on the Nuggets, and what's more, he looks like he belongs on the Nuggets. This Denver team is one of the dumbest, most unlikable teams I've ever seen and I would not trade for anybody on it (unless he had a David Lee vibe where he clearly hated playing on that team). Second, Smith's actions on the court show no direction or focus on any real goal, a little like Vince. J.R. is a streak shooter and above average athlete and that seems to be it. Third, I would not trade Delonte West or Boobie Gibson for him even though he might be a more productive player than both of them and here is why: Delonte and Boobie have rolls and play them, I would say, very well. All Boobie and West are asked to do is be solid outside shooters and be able to get the offense started (pass to LeBron immediately), but they do it. J.R. would be asked to be a high volume consistent scorer and second best player and starting shooting guard. I feel that Smith would be a disappointment at those tasks and therefore, is not worth getting because people who can fill those rolls do, in fact, exist.
Some of these trades I like and some of them I very much dislike. The only two I would be truly happy about are Michael Redd or Ron Artest, but I would have to say that I prefer Artest because of his defense, history of winning (ignoring his history of violence), and the fact that he, somewhat shockingly, is the samg age as Redd. And the fact is, if anyone belongs in Cleveland (big "if"), it's Ron.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
First Prediction: Baseball
I just read my first post and it is truly terrible. I am really a bad writer. Here are my predictions for the playoff participants of the 2008 MLB Season.
Disclaimer: I am a fan of the Cleveland Indians, so if my opinions about that particular team or the AL Central seem oddly emotional, that is why.
AL West: LA Angels
There are three teams above .500 in this division. One of them (Oakland) just traded away its entire pitching staff and the other (Texas) never had a pitching staff. It's always a fun time when your team plays the Rangers because there are at least 5 home runs per game in Texas Stadium, but that really is not a recipe for a playoff team.
AL Central: Chicago White Sox
This one is difficult to pick because neither team at the top is that great...I just love Ozzie Guillen. I do not think the Tigers are really up to the challenge because of their shaky-at-best pitching staff and their bad karma lineup. The only guy on the team I don't hate is Curtis Granderson. Honestly though, who likes Gary Sheffield?? Nobody.
AL East: Tampa Bay Rays
The hat trick of front runners. A gutless start to my life as a fake analyst, but I don't think I could sleep at night betting against the Rays. It seems like they'll either keep it together and win the division or completely fall apart and miss the playoffs and I'm crossing my fingers for them to hold on. Sidenote: I'm sick of people saying, "We always count the Yankees out but they keep coming back!!" They've been out of contention for the World Series for a while. Just because they make a run in a division that is still afraid of them doesn't mean they proved us wrong. In recent years, their lack of good starting pitching and ability to be shut down by good young starters has killed them just like everyone thought it would. When someone asks, "What is happening to the Yankees this year?" The answer is, "They are not a good team."
AL Wild Card: Boston Red Sox
The Sox are going to be the favorites to win the World Series for a while because they have such a good balance of young guys and frighteningly clutch veterans, but even if you're the best team, it's hard to win the World Series every year. They seem to not like each other as much this season which is troubling. Plus, didn't Jason Veritek make the All Star team?? Talk about bad karma. Jason Veritek is not an All Star...he isn't even a good player. Sometimes I just want to punch the city of Boston in the face.
NL West: Arizona Diamondbacks
It hurts to even pick a team out of this division. I'm going with Brandon Webb and Dan Haren but jeez...I don't even want to talk about this anymore.
NL Central: Chicago Cubs
I want to pick Milwaukee for this division but I just can't. I'm still waiting for St. Louis to finally break down and admit that they aren't a good team. Why isn't it happening? I think my distrust for the Chicago Cubs come out in my playoff picks. Sidenote: Why don't the Houston Astros move to the AL West? It's getting hard to defend baseball when the leagues have different rules and a different amount of teams.
NL East: NY Mets
I'm putting my trust in my Mets-fan-friend Matt Redd. Frankly, I'm sick of the Phillies and their MVPs. It's stupid.
NL Wild Card: Milwaukee Brewers
I think C.C. Sabathia is the best player in the National League.
There you have it.
Disclaimer: I am a fan of the Cleveland Indians, so if my opinions about that particular team or the AL Central seem oddly emotional, that is why.
AL West: LA Angels
There are three teams above .500 in this division. One of them (Oakland) just traded away its entire pitching staff and the other (Texas) never had a pitching staff. It's always a fun time when your team plays the Rangers because there are at least 5 home runs per game in Texas Stadium, but that really is not a recipe for a playoff team.
AL Central: Chicago White Sox
This one is difficult to pick because neither team at the top is that great...I just love Ozzie Guillen. I do not think the Tigers are really up to the challenge because of their shaky-at-best pitching staff and their bad karma lineup. The only guy on the team I don't hate is Curtis Granderson. Honestly though, who likes Gary Sheffield?? Nobody.
AL East: Tampa Bay Rays
The hat trick of front runners. A gutless start to my life as a fake analyst, but I don't think I could sleep at night betting against the Rays. It seems like they'll either keep it together and win the division or completely fall apart and miss the playoffs and I'm crossing my fingers for them to hold on. Sidenote: I'm sick of people saying, "We always count the Yankees out but they keep coming back!!" They've been out of contention for the World Series for a while. Just because they make a run in a division that is still afraid of them doesn't mean they proved us wrong. In recent years, their lack of good starting pitching and ability to be shut down by good young starters has killed them just like everyone thought it would. When someone asks, "What is happening to the Yankees this year?" The answer is, "They are not a good team."
AL Wild Card: Boston Red Sox
The Sox are going to be the favorites to win the World Series for a while because they have such a good balance of young guys and frighteningly clutch veterans, but even if you're the best team, it's hard to win the World Series every year. They seem to not like each other as much this season which is troubling. Plus, didn't Jason Veritek make the All Star team?? Talk about bad karma. Jason Veritek is not an All Star...he isn't even a good player. Sometimes I just want to punch the city of Boston in the face.
NL West: Arizona Diamondbacks
It hurts to even pick a team out of this division. I'm going with Brandon Webb and Dan Haren but jeez...I don't even want to talk about this anymore.
NL Central: Chicago Cubs
I want to pick Milwaukee for this division but I just can't. I'm still waiting for St. Louis to finally break down and admit that they aren't a good team. Why isn't it happening? I think my distrust for the Chicago Cubs come out in my playoff picks. Sidenote: Why don't the Houston Astros move to the AL West? It's getting hard to defend baseball when the leagues have different rules and a different amount of teams.
NL East: NY Mets
I'm putting my trust in my Mets-fan-friend Matt Redd. Frankly, I'm sick of the Phillies and their MVPs. It's stupid.
NL Wild Card: Milwaukee Brewers
I think C.C. Sabathia is the best player in the National League.
There you have it.
It Begins.
At this point in my blogging career, I'd like to say 'hello' to all my readers (hey Glenn). This stupid thing will, for now, be a place for me to keep record of my sports predictions to see how well I would do if I were gambling on everything. Also, I hope to taunt my friend John Glenn (see above) into creating his own version of "Buddies' Bullshit." For example: "Glenn's Homosexual Fantasies," or, "John Glenn: American Treasure (Glenn being known as an "American Treasure" is a "joke" stolen from a member of the legendary Grey Till Frisbee Organization)."
Another possible use for this is to see what would happen if you had a sports talk show (or column) where you were allowed to make disgusting comparisons and use "the F-word" as much as you like. I've always wondered if that would be more fun since in real sports conversations, the F-word gets a lot of work in. That probably won't happen.
The real reason this atrocity now exists is because I am trying to fool ESPN into thinking my passion lies in journalism so they'll give me an internship. This might get tricky however, seeing as how many of my beefs with the sports world are about ESPN and how much it has become the MTV of sports. Whatever.
Another possible use for this is to see what would happen if you had a sports talk show (or column) where you were allowed to make disgusting comparisons and use "the F-word" as much as you like. I've always wondered if that would be more fun since in real sports conversations, the F-word gets a lot of work in. That probably won't happen.
The real reason this atrocity now exists is because I am trying to fool ESPN into thinking my passion lies in journalism so they'll give me an internship. This might get tricky however, seeing as how many of my beefs with the sports world are about ESPN and how much it has become the MTV of sports. Whatever.
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