NBA Awards Ballot

You may have noticed I skipped the entire month of March. Well, deal with it.

Also, I have a twitter account that I almost never use. I don't remember what my name is on it but I don't think it's very tricky...you figure it out.

Right before the GB All Stars time of year (the most anticipated post of the year, mainly because I don't write it), I have to do my rankings for MVP and the like. I might go off the map with some of these...we'll see.

By the way, I just decided I'm going to write about the MVP and ROY but will not defend my other picks.

MVP

5. Pau Gasol

I was contemplating putting Rajon Rondo here. Without Rondo, I'm not sure the Celtics break .500. They at least never beat any team with an average vertical over a certain number.

I'm going with Gasol. From the Cavs' point of view, I'm afraid of two teams: Orlando and the Lakers (mainly Orlando). I'm not afraid of them because of The Mamba, in fact I'm counting on him pulling his typical playoff shit (overshooting, trying to live up to the idea that he's as good as Jordan and failing miserably...the classics). The guy I'm worried about is Gasol. If you're trying to beat the Lakers, a top three team, and you have a choice to remove one player of your choice, you're choosing Gasol (if you're smart). He's the best player on the team although you're not allowed to say it, which is another reason he gets the nod for number five. He has to sit back and take all the blame when they lose and get no credit, even for the victories in which Kobe does not play and he goes 20 and 20. What do you hear after those performances?

"Kobe must be thinking, 'Where's that been all year??'"

You know all those 11-33 box scores you throw up, Kobe? That's where Pau's good games are. Idiot.

4. Dwyane Wade

Wade continues to put on a poor man's (not THAT poor) LeBron show with this Miami team which still remains a sort of "who cares" situation. The fact remains, he is probably the second best player in the league and is very very valuable to his team but his team isn't very good...so there you go.

That said, he, along with LeBron, does the best job of making up for his team's shortcomings. Similar to Peyton Manning, you can't even picture the Heat without him. The Heat cease to exist. But if the Heat didn't exist, would that be a big deal? That's the real question here.

3. Kevin Durant

It seems insane that I'm putting a second-year player this high and I'm damn close to putting him higher, does it not?

To be honest, I haven't seen very many Kevin Durant games this season which is one big reason I'm so excited for the playoffs. The Durantula (awesome) is not only valuable to his team, he's valuable to the NBA because he's the leader of a new up-and-coming baller-ass team. Excuse me for the lingo (you can't call it "urban" or "hip-hop" lingo because it's just a loser adaptation that I use because I only hang out with like, ten different people), but that's what it is. It's an exciting and cool young team whose best player is in his second year. How cool!!!

2. Dwight Howard

Hate 'im.

(Sigh...)

The fact is, he's the reason the second best team in the league is even legitimate. He's extremely intimidating on defense. Nobody likes getting blocked, especially NBA players with huge egos, so he prevents more points than just his blocks even though he's a moron for blocking all the balls out of bounds. He's also a filtering mechanism in the Eastern Conference. You can no longer get to the Finals in the East without having a big strong Center no matter how good you are at everything else. The only teams with a chance to beat Orlando are the Cavs (Shaq and Z) and the Celtics (Kendrick Perkins) and it's because of Dwight. What a queer.

1. LeBron James

I write and think about LeBron James too much already. There's no more I can really say about him until these playoffs are over. Then I might never stop.

Rookie of the Year

3. Brandon Jennings

It's hard to put anyone who shoots 37% from the field anywhere, I don't know, good...but he is pretty good. He's a punk-ass who isn't afraid of anybody and definitely improved his team.

2. Stephen Curry

Hold on...

1. Tyreke Evans

Alright, Bowl...

If anyone than me or Bowl even reads this stuff, they'd know that Bowl and I had a discussion as to who was the best player in the draft. I said Steph Curry and he Said Tyreke Evans and we both said the other on was an idiot and it turns out we were both right (or wrong...however you want to look at it).

Because Tyreke had the more consistently impressive statistical season, I have to pick him. They both benefitted from being on hideous teams, although Steph, I argue, had a Nellie advantage curbed by playing with one of the bigger ball-hogs in the league in Monta Ellis.

The point is, Bowl may have won the battle, but I still think Curry is going to be a better player in the end. A guy who plays like Curry, someone who actually thinks about what he's doing and whose game is based around skill over athleticism, I don't know if you expect him to be perfect his rookie year. I still am not convinced Tyreke is going to learn anything. I'm probably wrong, but whatever. I refuse to concede to Bowl.

Defensive Player of the Year

1. Dwight Howard
2. Gerald Wallace
3. Rajon Rondo

Coach of the Year

1. Scott Skiles
2. Jerry Sloan
3. Scott Brooks

6th Man of the Year

1. Jamal Crawford
2. Manu Ginobili
3. Anderson Varejao

Most Improved Player

1. Kevin Durant
2. Andrew Bogut
3. George Hill

Well that's it. In the next few days, some weirdo named Gracie is going to write something for some reason so read that I guess.