Traversing the Playoff Landscape

Nuggets vs. Jazz (Jazz up 3-1)

I am losing a pita on this series and I'm not that happy about it.

I watched some of Rick Reilly's piece on ESPN where he came to poor George Karl's house and watched a Nuggets playoff game with him. I never like watching those stupid things that aren't really about sports and are just trying to make me feel bad for not having cancer, but this one was interesting for the personality of the Denver Nuggets.

You picture a coach as a guy who is either like the Zen-master/Brad Stevens type where the coach stays composed and tries to bring stability to a stressful situation or maybe a yeller/screamer type who is consistent but consistently angry to keep you on your toes. Think Mike Ditka or Bob Knight.

Karl reminds me of Bob Huggins. They treat their players like their pet dogs and they acquire players who like/need that treatment. George Karl is wildly emotional just like he were a player. He deeply loves his misfit players and is emotionally devastated when his team plays poorly. The point is, this team is not mentally tough or mentally weak, they're just...well they're what I just said.

The point is, the Nuggets are not winning this series and probably aren't going to win another game in it. Give the Jazz credit, I guess...they're probably on their way to the Western Conference Finals.

Magic vs. Bobcats (Magic won 4-0)

This series was a little sad to me. The Magic never got past first gear, I don't think. Dwight Howard started the series getting into way to much foul trouble which everybody pointed out as a "major" issue, he NEVER adjusted...and it didn't matter. At all. Vince Carter shot horribly the whole series. He improved a little in the last game, but it never mattered anyway. The Bobcats try really hard but it just doesn't matter. They can't score enough. The Magic are so tough but they still have weird mental issues that got 'em against the Lakers and I swear to God must come up to bite them in this playoffs. We'll have way too much time to talk about the Magic soon enough so let's get off this.

Mavericks vs. Spurs (Spurs lead 3-1)

Oddly enough, this series isn't over. Both teams are really really old. The Spurs have been getting by on smoke and mirrors for a while now and it's frankly pathetic that the Mavericks are letting them. The Mavericks like to play junk ball (which is a stupid "strategy" if you want to win in the playoffs) and the Spurs are the perfect team to look at the match up and say, "Well...let's not let them do that."

The Spurs, like the Patriots were in the NFL for the past few years, are simply a hurdle. They are going to play the best basketball. Do you have enough talent and composure to beat them? No? Ok, get outta here.

Sometimes playing that way is good enough to win a title, sometimes it's not. This is Tim Duncan's career.

Hawks vs. Bucks (series tied 2-2)

I don't know what to say about this. The Hawks are really not impressing anyone by splitting the first two games with a team that gets large contributions from Jerry Stackhouse and Kurt Thomas. Tip o' the cap to the Bucks for doing what they're doing and Brandon Jennings is simply a pleasure, but this is a race to be slaughtered by the Magic. It really makes you feel bad for the Bucks, wondering what they could do if Andrew Bogut weren't hurt. Then again, who cares? There's a reason this series is on NBA TV.

Suns vs. Trail Blazers (Suns lead 3-2)

Suns/Blazers is somewhat entertaining.

The Blazers are a bad match up for the Suns, honestly, but not without Roy (at his best) and not without the rest of their size (Oden and Przybilla). What's the outcome? A solid beating by the better team, but confusing wins from the underdog from time to time. I sincerely hope this series ends as soon as possible because I'm worried about all of Brandon Roy's body parts.

Celtics vs. Heat (Celtics lead 3-1)

It's hard to watch Dwyane Wade try to drag his team to wherever it's supposed to be going. Miami had better bring in a hell of a lot of talent to keep him after what they've done to the team during poor Wade's prime years. Dangerous.

I have no idea how good this series is telling me the Celtics are. Their wins haven't been that impressive and the Heat are really not a very good team. I'm not that worried about Boston right now, but I know that old guys really love to say the Celtics are going to beat the Cavs in the 2nd round. It's really gross. Newsflash: it's not good to be old.

Speaking of that, I saw a magazine on the floor of my mom's bathroom that had a picture of Julia Louis-Dreyfus on the cover with the headline, "Hotter at 49 than 29!"

I couldn't be more furious about that insinuation. Nobody is hotter at 49 than 29...NOBODY. Maybe some dude who used to be 400 thousand pounds at 29 and lost it by 49...or something like that. Sure, Julia is still pretty cute for being almost 50, but are you telling me that Elaine Benes wasn't cute? What a horrible insult to 29 year-old JL-D.

Lakers vs. Thunder (series tied 2-2)

The question was posed to a panel of ESPN NBA analysts, "Is Kobe selfish?"

Yes, yes and uhhhhmmmmmmm yes.

Kobe prepares harder than anyone...or as hard...I really have no idea. But he has an array of moves more vast than any perimeter player in the league. The fact that he has developed these moves is an unselfish act because playing at the highest level for your team is unselfish. And that is it.

The reason why Kobe is selfish is because he knows the right way to play and chooses to do whatever it is that he does. His teammates can only have a certain type of enabling personality or they can't coexist. Anyone strong-willed won't stand for a Kobe-dominated regime. This current team is Kobe's world. He had to choose between winning more titles or winning fewer titles with more credit and chose the latter.

Now that he's hurt and not even good anymore, it's just sad. Actually, you know what? It's not sad because it's his fault. He chose not to fix his finger and he chose not to rest. He didn't have to play for the Olympic team. All of those actions were selfish. Taking time off would help the All-Star team he plays for get more comfortable being themselves and they STILL would have the number 1 seed in the West both this season AND last season. Kobe would rather be known as an iron man and have losses blamed on his teammates when they come. He's an asshole.

The Thunder are a delight. They still probably won't win this series...but the COULD. Let's watch!!!!

Cavaliers vs. Bulls (Cavs lead 3-1)

Brian Windhorst, as always, summed it up best in a post-game interview after game 4. He said, and I concur, that after all the discussion about whether to go big or small or to have JJ Hickson or Shaq play more, the only thing that made the difference was the Cavs started trying. This is a series the Cavs will win even if LeBron got hurt (KNOCK ON EVERYTHING!!!!!). I don't know if it will happen tonight, but it will happen, don't worry.