The final division. A division that was owned by the 49ers when I was a lad, now belongs to the Seahawks (for now). There won't be more than one team with double digit wins here, and I don't think that that team will get any more than 10. But who knows...picks!
1) St. Louis Rams
One time Randy McMichael was on my fantasy team and he had the dreaded "O" next to his name signalling "out." "Is he injured?" I thought. Well, no...but his wife was. Suspended for domestic abuse. With that said, Marc Bulger and Stephen Jackson with a healthy O-Line and a last gas effort from Tory Holt should put these Rams in first place.
Ramstasy: None
2) Arizona Cardinals
The Cardinals' receivers are so good, they make Kurt Warner and Matt Leinart look occasionally like a decent quarterback tandem. Even Steve Breaston is good. Unfortunately, their runing game is bad, their defense is bad and their quarterbacks are either frail and fumble a lot (Kurt) or are bad (Leinart). Funny sidenote, Leinart and Vince Young might end up being busts and Troy Smith might be a starting NFL quarterback. It obviously hasn't happened YET, but it's possible. Stay tuned.
Fantasy Cards: Larry Fitzgerald and Matt Leinart (way to lose your starting job, Idiot)
3) Seattle Seahawks
I think it's time for a change of pace with this division. The 'hawks will probably either win it again or be in third, subject to whether any of the other teams in the West decide to stage an uprising. I could be wrong, but I'm calling the end of their pointless reign atop this division, followed by a pointless reign by whoever else takes over. I'm really not sure where this division is going to be honest. Sorry Seattle, first the Sonics, then the Mariners, and now this. Keep your heads up.
Fantaseahawks: Ryan Plackemeier (that's right, our league has a punter)
4) San Francisco 49ers
Excuse me for being pessimistic, but I just don't think I'm buying into the J.T. O'Sullivan era.
Fantasy Niners: ...I don't think so.
I hope everyone enjoyed this glimpse into the future, I know I did (for like, the first two). Some of you might have been thinking during this, "Why did he pick The Bengals to go 8-8? Is he some kind of retarded asshole?" Well first, I don't appreciate that sort of language being thrown around, and second, yes I am Bengals fan and therefore an idiot. I am standing by that pick, but I will make a second prediction: If they lose one of their first two games, they won't go 8-8 and if they lose BOTH of their first two, they're headed back to those fabulous 3-13 years.
Alright...I think we're done here.
AFC South
ReplyDeleteJags - I just feel this.
(W)Colts - I'm worried about them. Manning, Harrison, Saturday all didn't get their usual off season of preparation. This is a team that is good because they work harder and smarter in the off season than every other team. They aren't more talented than the rest of this division anymore, so without that preparation, I see losses that we aren't used to seeing.
Titans
Texans
AFC West
Broncos - Screw this division. The post-Elway Broncos used to always go 10-6 even though I never cared about them and never thought much of them. They get back to that upper mediocre form this season.
Chargers - Merriman is up there on my most hated player list. I still like LTD but I think once a RB of his caliber suffers injuries and stops dominating, it's a slippery and steep slope down to suckville. It's time for him to join this club with Edge.
Raiders
Chiefs - I would like it if they could just draft Tebow now. This way I wouldn't have to hear about him at all this season and maybe he would get hurt and die.
AFC East
Pats - Fuckum
(W)Bills - Sure. I hate Favre a little bit now, I'm leaving for Buffalo in a few hours, I think they have a good defense. I'm sold.
Jets - Everything points to a good season. We'll just see how Favre blows their easy schedule.
Dolphins - I'm close to picking them 3rd. I hate Favre a lotta bit now actually. Maybe Parcells knows what he's doing here. Pennington is functional, I think they have a decent line, I want Ricky Williams to have one last smokin' season.
AFC North
Steelers - Default winners of this stupid division. 5-1 in the division.
Browns
Ravens
Bengals - suckfestival. Carson Palmer doesn't deserve this organization of clowns.
NFC North
Vikings - I see (NFC)greatness from a team with the best RB in the league, a pretty sweet back up for the stupidly injury prone best RB in the league, and an O line that can make Tarvaris Jackson acceptable.
(W)Packers - I'm ready for the Aaron Rogers Era. Good defense. Good Running game. "Rookie" qb who was groomed the way you are supposed to do it. I will guarantee Rogers throws fewer INTs than Favre threw last year.
Lions
Bears
NFC East
Cowboys - no playoff win this year either so that makes this OK in my book.
(W)Eagles
Redskins
Giants - Every year the Super Bowl loser misses the playoffs and looks miserable. The G men were basically the super bowl losers as far as this trend goes. They played out of their minds and got some luck in the playoffs. They had no business being in the game and they will have gotten fat and happy this off season. I'm not saying they are as gay as the Seahawks or Bears of the past few years, but I still see less than 7 wins for these guys even though I love them.
NFC South
Saints - Maybe they will have to have a good season to brighten the lives of all their idiot fans who forgot to move out of the death trap that is New Orleans, Louisiana.
Bucs
Panthers
Falcons - If they win a game, this season is a success.
NFC West
Seahawks - meh
Rams - no
Cardinals - No
49ers - NO
I don't know if I appreciate Mr. Buttfestival using Buddies' site to post his own bullshit (especially when his rightful name is "Glennfestival"). Get your own damn blog.
ReplyDeletePS. Yer goin' down in fantasy. Blankets 4 Ever.