Free Agency Status on the Fifth of July

During the insane first few days of NBA free agency, I'd like to take the Independence Day Weekend to take a step back and review what has happened so far (yes, this will include a mild amount of bitterness).

Here's an off-the-top-of-my-head time line of the events so far:

- Carlos Boozer somewhat surprisingly opted INTO his contract, making Charlie Villanueva the most attractive young Power Forward in Free Agency instead of a talented lazy ass who could be had for shockingly cheap...

- The Detroit Pistons immediately lock up Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva by overpaying both of them rather severely. They don't even make a run at Ariza or Turkoglu.

This is not even a creative analogy, it's just exactly what's going on: Free Agency is like a bunch of guys at a bar trying to pick up ladies. Period. It's the exact same thing. And the Pistons, instead of trying to play it cool or go for the really high class ladies, they just snagged two "fives" and said, "See ya later."

To explain further, I was a proponent of bringing Charlie Villanueva into the Cavs' system. He would have been our second leading scorer and would be the second most athletically gifted player on the roster. He is totally lazy on defense (and actually offense) but I thought the pressure of LeBron and Shaq would have been enough to force him into trying. But a bad team with no leaders and no coach? And adding Ben Gordon as well? For more than the Mid-Level Exeption? That's a big pass and a half...on BOTH.

- News spreads that Trevor Ariza is feeling a little dissed by the Lakers for the lack of an offer above the mid-level and is looking around for another team. Let me put this another way: Ariza's boyfriend wasn't being nice enough to him so he started flirting with other teams to make him jealous. Little did he know, the Lakers had a hotter girl lined up right behind him (Ron Artest signs with the Lakers for the mid level) for the same price. Now Ariza is out in the abyss of the bar waiting for teams to start buying him drinks.

The Cavs immediately contact him and put on the "full-court press," as Chris Broussard put it. Ariza even talked directly to Mike Brown. Then, Rockets' GM Daryl Morey flies to wherever Ariza is and later that night, Ariza is a Rocket.

Why did Ariza choose Houston, a team with two broken down stars and roughly no title hopes in the tough Western Conference over Cleveland, the Vegas odds on title favorite as well as the team who is most likely to face Ariza's ex-boyfriend in the Finals? Nobody really knows. The obvious answers are that:

a. Cleveland sucks. I don't like saying that but there are a lot of reasons not to live in Cleveland, it's an unavoidable truth.

b. Is Shaq staying? Is LeBron Staying? Probably not and maybe. That is definitely worrying for a guy thinking about signing a five-year deal when he is 24 years old. But still, it's a two-way street. Think about this:

LeBron won't sign an extension or commit to Cleveland allegedly because he wants more flexibility and wants to keep pressure on the Cavs' organization to build a winner around him, but the assurance that he will be there is making it nearly impossible to convince top-flight free agents to come to Cleveland and therefore, build a winner around LeBron James.

Ariza assumedly wants to play for a winner and wants security that LeBron will stay past this year before he signs, but the only way to get that security is if someone like Ariza would sign long-term...it's more than a little bit frustrating from where I'm sitting.

(These two topics are covered more in depth and much more clearly here and here)

- Hedo Turkoglu semi agrees to an offer with Portland and then actually agrees to a contract with Toronto. I knew he was going to be the one to rock the boat. He's foreign and has always seemed to weirdly oblivious to everything, even while playing. He is clutch because he feels no pressure because he has no concept of where he is. I don't believe he will feel awkward for screwing the Blazers because I don't think he knows that he did it.

Either way, the Raptors are still bad and Portland is still good and at least the Blazers still have options.

- For the rest of the free agents, we can only assume that Rasheed Wallace will be going to Boston so I'm going to put it on the timeline like it happened. He'll fit right in with their core of veteran douche bags (also known as the "Big Three.")

So with the Lakers, Spurs (Richard Jefferson), and Boston improving (I'm not including Orlando on purpose), what is left for Cleveland to do?

Well, they are rumored to be interested in Anthony Parker. As Cleveland proved last summer, there are less impressive signings in the world than a guy like Parker, but the fact remains, nobody is getting excited about a 34-yeard old who has been back and forth between Europe and the NBA his whole career. You can't even, in good conscience, give him the full mid level. Still, he's not bad. He's a great shooter, a good defender, and a smart player (by all accounts). And from what I know, Danny Ferry is cut from the cloth (or the other way around) of Daryl Morey, the MIT stats machine who hits bargains rather routinely. The fact that Ferry is oddly interested in a seemingly ho-hum player gives me hope that he will fit in exceptionally well if we get him. Of course, I have to believe that.

With that said, here is who I would go after if I were in charge.

1. Josh Childress

Once again, I'm extremely unclear as to his situation with his Euro club and the fact that we don't seem to have any interest in him at all leads me to believe he would not consider buying out his Euro deal to play here. He does serve roughly the same purpose as Ariza, in fact, he's probably better than Ariza. Ariza is attractive because of his sacrifice on a Championship Team, but his stats really aren't eye-popping by any means. This seems unlikely for whatever reason.

2. Grant Hill

Again, a much better player than Ariza (I keep coming back to him because he was my documented first choice in free agency) at the present time. He is injury prone and old as hell, but if you can't get Ariza long-term, you might as well go for Grant Hill for one year if he is interested in being the back up small forward on a Championship Team. He may be 36, but he did take a few years off and he certainly doesn't play like he's 36.

3. Marvin Williams

Anthony Parker would actually be in between these two. We're honestly already to the point where I really am not excited about these people at all. However, Marvin Williams is very talented and somewhat admirably toughed out an injury to his shooting wrist in the playoff series against the Cavs. Glenn likes this guy.

4. Brandon Bass

A cheap and athletic Power Forward. He's fine...I'm about to die of yawning. There's also Matt Barnes, but I don't even feel like wasting a number on him.

So that's what we have on our hands. A super mediocre free agent pool and the least attractive city amongst the contenders. But here's the bright side:

I have almost never heard of Ferry going after a guy I didn't like. There were rumors of Cleveland wanting Rasheed Wallace, J.R. Smith, and Shawn Marion...all unfounded. You know why? Because those guys are assholes. When we traded for Mo Williams, who really knew anything about that guy? Well, he worked out perfectly so I have no other choice but to trust Ferry in whatever small or large moves he makes for the rest of the off season. Let's hope it's well founded.